Cutting Through the Illusions of an Affair with a Drug Addict

Dear Zuri:
S and I were involved in an affair that has lasted over three years. Although we resisted the attraction for a long time, it happened. His marriage with his wife has been in trouble long before I came on the scene. His wife found out about us just over two years ago and has gone back and forth between taking him back and ending it. He keeps coming back to me but is still not ready to fully commit because of guilt and trying to make it up to her. He still lives with his ex-wife two days a week, as their house has not been sold yet. I feel he still tries to have everything on his terms and plays games with me. And, his drinking and drug problems don’t help. I don’t know whether to stop seeing him so that he makes a bigger effort to get things sorted out and choose me or to move on. He thinks there is nothing wrong with his behavior and addictions. Please help!

Thanks,
LL 6/66

Hi L!
He is not going to change and choose you because he likes what he has going for him, which is a mistress when it fits his schedule and a wife who is willing to remain in an unhealthy relationship with a dishonest and drug addicted partner. You definitely have competition for his affections because although she knows about you and the affair, she still does not want to let go of him and the relationship he has with her. I got the 4 of Swords dominating the spread which showed me him retreating when things get too intense for him. He blocks the outside world and uses the fact that his house has not sold to put you off and justify his still being with the ex “2 days a week”. If he truly wanted to be with you, he’d be living with you and not the ex. He’s mainly looking to keep things status quo and live through his rose colored glasses of a drug induced reality.

His words and promises have no foundation. Although he may move towards you with passion when he wants to come back into your life for a little while, in his mind he pulls back and remains disconnected. His thoughts and feelings don’t match at all. His drug use clouds his judgment and distorts his perception to offer you anything real and of substance. I sensed that you two have many years of going through these patterns, where he moves in with loving promises, talking it up and then he gets all huffy when you ask him anything about a real future which results in your heart being broken.

The relationship you love has a lot of hidden and harmful sides to it – mainly the betrayal and the addictions which are slowly eating away at your self-esteem and self-love. The only person I see that is open to taking action here is you. He is not looking to rock the boat and make any waves. He is standing still in the middle of a hurricane out at sea with no life preserver and pulls everyone willing to love him into the chaos. What needs to happen is rehab, a 12 step program and treatment for his substance and drug abuse. He needs to get cleaned up and only he can do that for himself when he recognizes he has a problem and is ready to confront it head on. However, even if he did, I still got a predominance of tarot cards in this spread that indicate trouble and deceit continuing. He is just no good for you as a romantic partner and is holding you back from finding real love for yourself. I drew a few cards for you and the Chariot and Six of Wands say you have to take action by moving away from him in order to achieve the type of romance you want. He keeps pulling you back and forth in two directions, keeping you stuck. He has a choice to either improve his life or remain in the ever darkening abyss he has created for his future. But, you have the choice to remove these blinders you have on to the truth of the matter and make a decision to get out of this relationship that is not going anywhere.

Blessings,
Zuri

Finding Mr Right in a Romantic Drought: Is a New Relationship on the Horizon?

Dear Zuri:
I have been alone now for two and a half years. I’m interested in meeting someone who will bring me happiness as a friend and lover. When am I going to meet my future romantic partner? Do I know him already?

Thank you!
MQ 3/58

Hi M!
I definitely sense a change coming into your life. Intuitively, I feel that the reason that your love life has gone on hiatus is due to needing to heal a broken heart from a past love experience that has taken a long time to mend. So, during these last 2 years, you have been doing that inner work to be truly open and ready to let a new love in. The Universe is working behind the scenes to align your romantic path with a man that has long term potential.

It’s karmic destiny – he will approach you when you least expect it and have given up looking for the one. There is a message here from your guides that you must stop forcing the outcome by trying so hard to find him. Because you are looking too hard and wanting it too much, you create mindsets that block you, causing you to get in your own way. First, you must refocus your thoughts on what you want to attract and then envision yourself already in the type of relationship you want, as if it is a part of your life in the present. Then release everything out into the Universe and go about your life by not allowing the lack of a relationship and your want of a new relationship to dominate your daily thoughts.

I feel that by relaxing and letting fate take its course, you will allow your guides and angels to work on your behalf to create opportunities to allow love in. And by doing that, he is going to find you so it’s not going to involve you seeking him out. Should you follow my advice, the tarot cards indicate that the likelihood of meeting him is very high by summer 2009 and he will be a mature man in his 50′s. This is not a man that is already in your life. He is someone you have not met yet and will offer you that relationship that has a great foundation in friendship with deep romantic undertones.

He’ll have you grinning from ear to ear by the way he treats you so I feel it’s an awesome match on many levels. I know you want to make this happen yesterday but you can’t speed up the process since the Universe has its own schedule on when things are meant to happen based on where a person is on their life path and how far along they are with their particular lessons. You have to just trust that it is underway and will happen with divine timing. It is going to be a real lesson in patience and faith for you but it will be well worth it when you see the results.

Blessings,
Zuri