Some people are so blinded by their own feelings that they don’t see or ignore the warning signs of an impending breakup. Or, they see the flashing red lights of their intuition signaling that something is not quite right but don’t know if it’s a rough patch that can be worked out or that the relationship is over.
Break ups are never easy but being forewarned is forearmed so you can move on to greener pastures and leave your soon to be ex in the dust.
Here are the top eight warning signs that your lover is about to give you the boot.
- He makes less and less contact
Your relationship used to be filled with frequent phone calls, texts and emails to chat and you are the first person to know what’s going on in his life. Now, he doesn’t get in touch the way he used to and takes many days or weeks to resurface or return your phone call. You may even get a hold of him but be told he’s too busy to talk. Even worse yet, he forgets to call you back and it becomes a pattern. Trust me, ladies, no guy is ever that busy and if you are still important to him, he won’t forget to call you. He’ll make the time to talk to you. - He breaks plans and can’t guarantee a date in advance
Before, you could count on the weekend and most date nights as time spent together. Now, he blows you off, cancels dates and puts other plans and people before spending time with you. It may be weeks before you see him again. He may lie and make excuses about being swamped with work, projects, family issues. Or, he may not even bother to lie and instead opts to just go MIA. Bottom line, you are no longer on his romantic VIP list. - Emotional distance and lack of affection
Remember the days when he used to shower you with attention and tell you how much he cares about you? You used to hold hands, stare into each other’s eyes, feed each other ice cream, giggle and laugh together. It was sheer bliss. Now, those days are far and few in between. You are left wondering where did all the romance go? His declarations of love have become sporadic at best and emotionally, he seems withdrawn and cold. He may even be discussing how confused he feels about you and him as a couple or his uncertainty about where this is going. Don’t chalk that up to being no big deal and as a passing phase. Listen and pay attention to his words and behavior because when a guy goes from hot to cold in a New York minute, it’s an indicator that he is about to enter flight mode. Another tell tale sign of problems in paradise is the physical displays of affection are lacking. If you don’t initiate it, it doesn’t happen and that’s a surefire way to see first hand that his interest in your relationship stock is on the decline. - Decreased Sexual Interest
Equally as important as the emotional distance is the decrease in sexual activity. If your relationship goes from lots of sex every week to months of no sex, be afraid. Be very afraid. There’s definitely something wrong here and you need to have a serious heart to heart to see what’s going on. Sometimes, it could be just problems connected to his personal or work life that have nothing to do with you. However, if the sexual drought drags on for weeks without any relief, you may need to dig deeper to find out whether it’s just a rough patch that will work itself out or if he’s getting his sexual needs met from someone else. - It just becomes a sexual relationship
On the flip side of getting no sex is the guy who withdraws emotionally, stops acting like a boyfriend and instead only comes around for a late night or daily booty call. Gone are the days of walks in the park, nice restaurants, movies and vacations together. Now all you have to look forward to is great sex but you wake up alone and unhappy. When guys have checked out of the relationship, they sometimes stick around for the sex if it’s still being offered until they find someone that they are willing to commit mind, heart and soul to. If you find yourself in this predicament, end it now and give him the boot. He’s just wasting your time and biding his. - Your status has gone from girlfriend to “friend”
In the beginning, this guy couldn’t tell enough people how wonderful you are and looked proud to introduce you as his girlfriend, the love of his life or his reason for waking up everyday. Now, you’ve been demoted to being called his “friend”. When a guy does not want to acknowledge your status in the relationship and changes the label, you can be sure he is having doubts about how long you plan on being a part of his future. - His social life with the opposite sex is in full bloom
If you’re noticing that your guy is making new female friends and having those women call his cellphone, sending emails back and forth or making plans to see them more often, he may be inadvertently saying he wants to live the bachelor life and no longer be tied down to a relationship. And often this is tied to him improving on his appearance by wearing new cologne, clothes, getting in shape and getting a new hair cut. That may be a sign for you to go solo. - He picks fights with you
He is frequently irritable, picks fights, constantly criticizes you and everything that you do. The sweetie who used to always compliment you is long gone and no longer supports your interests or feelings. If you are seeing any of this behavior, he is going out of his way to show you he is no longer interested in putting in the effort to make your relationship work. He’s not afraid to lose you because he does not care about your feelings and how his actions may be bothering you. In essence, he’s showing you his nastier side so that you do the dirty deed of breaking up with him and spare him having to do it to you.
Even though all of the above symptoms give a pretty grim prognosis for your future together, it’s important to have a serious conversation with your partner about what’s going on to find out why he’s showing signs of disinterest in focusing and working on your relationship. Any number of reasons may be the cause of the distance: work stress, ill health, family problems, life changes, substance abuse and even personal or psychological issues such as depression, etc.
Communication is key to get to the heart of the matter. If he still harbors strong feelings, he may just need some reassurance from you that you still want to be with him and it’s simply a case of miscommunication and misunderstandings. Unfortunately, not all relationships can be saved because the foundation wasn’t that strong from the get go but others still have a fighting chance.
By paying attention to the signs your partner is sending out will help you in deciding whether you still have a chance to repair the damage and grow stronger as a couple or make you realize that it’s time to move on and begin the healing process.
xo Zuri
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